yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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