porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
