The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
where am i from again
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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