her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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