dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
my poor anus
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
