Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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