So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
