Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
