Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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