my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I looked at my own cervix.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
