this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
