At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
