We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
