Do you still have your period?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
