if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
