remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
