i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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