What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
