dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
