At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize