Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
