Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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