Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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