You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
