Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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