..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
