just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
