We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
