Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
