Non-Jews are for practice
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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