So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
