3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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