Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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