Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
