I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Screwed.edu
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
