Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
