what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
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