his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
