last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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