Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
