forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My ass is underappreciated
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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