At least make sure they are 18
Why
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Randomize
