Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
