White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
