I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
