how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
