Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
