Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
