Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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