it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
