Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
