Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
