some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
