In the future we'll all be gay
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
