I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
