There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
