Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
