She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
