Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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