is your mom at the bar?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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