She announced her abortion via fbk
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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