My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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